Hitting out

I am, at present, the mother of a hitter. In the social world of mothering this can be sometimes embarrassing and often guilt-inducing.

With increasing frequency I'm having to jump in to pull Son away from his parallel playmates (they don't actually play with each other yet, so much as alongside).

So:

Dear mothers whose children play in the company of my son

When Son flaps his hand in your child's face it is because he's curious about this other little person and hasn’t developed social skills yet. He might also be frustrated and not sure how else to express this.

But I like to think it's his way of saying "Excuse me. Can I play with you?" Though because it could also mean “get outa my face”, and a smack for any reason is unpleasant for the victim, I try to be close enough to quickly and quietly remove him from the situation. Brief and simple.

Making a big fuss will probably be even more intriguing for him.

And I have found that giving him a little reprimanding smack on the hand while telling him not to hit is somewhat contradictory.

Anyway, he should be over this phase in a year or two. Until then, I (or another responsible adult) will be supervising and trying to prevent any hits where we can

According to some online mommy advice, I should even be excited that my son is not just learning to stop hitting, but picking up other, more successful ways to relate to and communicate with his peers in becoming a social and compassionate person! Maybe you can even encourage your children to say, “No”, or “don’t hurt me”, a phrase that may prove quite useful if there are other kids out on the playground like mine. Then they're all learning!

Anyway, Thanks for being understanding and for having such durable children!

xx