Stepping out and charging up

You can just not do it when something comes up that you want to do but will be tricky to make happen. Especially if you are used to putting everyone else first, like when you're a mom. As the conduit through which all family currents are fed, a short circuit seems inevitable if the mommy terminal is temporarily removed from the grid. But actually, as recent examples show, with a bit of planning, power failures are not a given and, if anything, the light shines a little brighter after being given a break.

My sister who lives in Johannesburg was almost looney with apprehension as she set off on a 4 day workshop she was to run in Botswana. Leaving her husband and two young sons was a big deal for her and for them too. We spoke this morning, on her return: Surprise! She had coped! Double surprise: the boys had coped (Baby Charlie might not even have noticed she was gone!). Of course they had missed each other but Ca had been able to immerse herself in work that she loves and the boys had managed great as a team.

 It's the same stuff I went through when thinking about whether or not I could go to the Grahamstown festival or to a conference in the UK for a week when Son was only 9 months. I could have easily not done either of those things. It would have been easier not to. But I did and they were great and no one was hurt and I am richer for both experiences.

Such a shift in the status quo requires A-type planning and major paternal participation. Both sister and I are blessed with encouraging, supportive husbands who step up to look after the kids when we are away. They even have new ideas for us on our return of how things at home could run more efficiently! Thanks guys ;) 

Now, this may be a tenuous link, but little moments of stepping out of "the comfort zone" have coloured and textured the lives of my kids too this week. Baby M spent her first day alone at playschool and loved it. On collecting her I was told she had participated confidently in everything, loved the dancing, and was not shy to complain. That's my girl- it takes her a little while to warm up but once familiar with her new environment she can rule the roost.

Son enjoyed an after dark playdate- not quite a sleep-over, but close. Without mom or dad he stayed at friend Max for supper-time (tried a dot of broccoli I'm told), bath-time and even bed-time stories by Max's dad. Later, in his own bed he lay next to me with new questions and thoughts and said that next time he would like to stay longer.

For adults and toddlers alike, plugging into a different frequency can be unnerving but it sure does charge the battery. So big up to the dads, moms and all the other positive electrons on the grid helping with the energy boost.